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Apr 24, 2012

Another Kiwi shoots his mouth off.

Image; Australian troops advancing on German strongpoint.

Yesterday, New Zealand radio panelist Jock Anderson unleashed his extensive knowledge of the Australian military, which he apparently gained from Kiwi ex soldiers on the piss. Among his claims were:

"The Aussies have been reluctant soldiers at the best of times, and they've been essentially lazy bludgers, some of them - excellent black-marketeers, scavengers, poachers and thieves," he told the panel.

"Occasionally, they've actually been quite good soldiers, but there was no way that they can hold a candle, in my opinion, to the Kiwis.”
This left international audiences asking the obvious question, “What is New Zealand?” As a service to our extensive readership, we will put you in the picture.
  • New Zealand, or The Shivery Isles is a nation consisting of two small islands off the East coast of Australia, too far away to be worth annexing. It is populated by wonderful, friendly, hard working, and generous spirited people. There is also a substantial white population there, which in the interests of friendship we will say no more about.
  • The people speak an odd dialect based on English, but with confused vowel sounds. This tends to leave other English speakers with the impression that the Kiwi speaker is busting for a crap.
  • European settlement was initially started by mariners who loved the place as the natural ground movement enabled them to go ashore and back to sea without the problematic sea legs/land legs transition.
  • Often referred to as the Poms of the South Pacific, Kiwis were always reluctant to cut ties to the Old Country. The Brits for their part were never convinced that the Kiwis were ready for independence. The reason it was granted was that after offering the place to all the other major powers and getting no takers, it seemed to be the only way of getting shot of them.
The reality is that Australia and New Zealand have had an extensive shared military history going right back to the colonial era with mutual respect on both sides. The statement above has upset veterans from both countries and has been disowned by the New Zealand Prime Minister and government.

With all due respect to veterans, they are probably not the most reliable source of information on the qualities of allied troops they fought beside, especially after a few pots. No matter what country they came from, they all have the impression that their army was the one that pulled all the others out of the shit and they were the best damn soldiers on the face of the earth.

The comments were just plain silly and should be ignored.

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