Probable terrorist incident in Melbourne

Initial reports were of a stabbing of two police officers in suburban Melbourne, however as more information becomes available, there is little doubt that this incident is terrorist related: 

A MAN shot dead by police in Melbourne’s southeast tonight was a “person of interest” in a counter-terrorism operation and had been under surveillance for making threats against Prime Minister Tony Abbott. 

Senior intelligence sources confirmed he was among a number of people who have had their passports cancelled recently. 

A Victoria Police officer and Australian Federal Police agent involved in a joint agency investigation were stabbed by an occupant of a car they pulled over outside Endeavour Hlils police station about 7.40pm. 

It is believed the Victoria Police officer drew his gun and shot the alleged attacker dead.It is not known what the threat involved, or whether the man had been involved in planning some kind of attack.  It is understood the counter terrorism operation was aimed at detaining and questioning the man in relation to the threats. 

A bomb squad officer dressed in an explosives suit and bomb squad robot are combing the police station as forensic detectives comb the scene. 

The Prime Minister was tonight on a plane to New York from Canberra, where he will attend UN meetings dealing with the rising threat of Islamic State. 

A Monash Health spokeswoman confirmed one of the officers was taken to Dandenong Hospital in a stable condition with non-life-threatening injuries. He was expected to be discharged late tonight or tomorrow. The other was taken to The Alfred and his condition is unknown.

There are unconfirmed reports that the second officer is in a critical condition.  We wish him well and hope for a speedy recovery, and thank both of them for their effort on our behalf.

While it is becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish the difference between random acts of drug, alcohol, insanity, or radical Islamic fueled acts of violence, this one appears to be the latter.

The passport cancellation is most likely the result of a reasonable suspicion that the person involved was attempting to leave the country in order to join foreign fighters in conflict zones.  Threats against the prime minister (or anyone else for that matter) are not to be tolerated and it is reasonable to suggest that the police officers were within their rights here.

While its possible that the suspect was playing with a couple of cards short of a full deck, or the odd fatwa short of a jihad, there are reasonable grounds to think that this is a terrorist incident.

Newman government backtracks

"In retrospect it becomes clear that hindsight is definitely overrated!" Alfred E. Neuman. (No relation to Campbell)

Cartoon: By R May

In the wake of their second crushing by-election defeat, the Newman government has decided to reverse some of its more controversial, or at least idiotic decisions made in the last couple of years.

It’s sometimes said that the first step to recovery is to admit that you have a problem.  The government seems to be doing this, which is something we should give them credit for.

Their task is made more difficult though, in that they apparently have little idea what the problem really is: 

Mr Newman left the door open to wind back other controversial decisions. …

… “They want us to have a good relationship with the judiciary, they want those sort of arguments to cease and desist and they want the focus of everyone to working for Queenslanders.” 

The Courier-Mail had earlier revealed Cabinet would today discuss scrapping several of the most contentious elements of reforms to Queensland’s corruption watchdog and tough anti-bikie legislation. 

The Queensland Premier spent yesterday briefing senior LNP MPs on his plans after the Government suffered a massive 18.6 per cent swing against it in Stafford. 

It is understood the Government will reintroduce a bipartisan appointments process for the chair of the newly named Crime and Corruption Commission. 

The controversial decision by Attorney-General Jarrod Bleijie to remove the bipartisan parliamentary committee’s role in appointments was heavily condemned by former corruption inquiry head Tony Fitzgerald in one of his numerous salvos at the Newman Government. 

Cabinet will also discuss removing some of the harshest aspects of the criminal motorcycle gang legislation that Mr Newman has repeatedly insisted he does not like but were an important weapon in the war against rebel bikies. 

It is also understood Cabinet members have been assured there will be no reshuffle and each will fight on to the election and be tasked with better selling the Government’s achievements. 

A senior Government source last night said Mr Newman had briefed colleagues that the Stafford result showed the Government’s pace and extent of reform had worried Queenslanders and they must now act. …

The problem with the biker laws is not pink jumpsuits, nor isolation of these prisoners as the LNP seems to believe.  The entire act is draconian, from its aim of outlawing the act of associating through to huge penalties for being, or having been a member of an organization since declared criminal.  There were already sufficient laws to do with all aspects of criminality among these groups; making these laws unnecessary.

The idea of 15 – 25 year mandatory prison sentences for being, or having once been, a member of a currently declared organization is an anathema to fair minded Australians, and have no place in a free society.

Asset sales are going to have to be done and should be.  In a modern nation state there is really no reason for the government to run commercial enterprises.  On budgetary issues they have been respectable, although they have not yet produced a surplus.

Since taking office just over two years ago, the Queensland government has been something of a showpiece in how not to do it.  A massive majority seemed to convince the LNP that it was immortal and could act in any way it pleased, and it did.

The massive loss in the Redcliffe by-election earlier this year taught it nothing other than to pay lip service with “We’re listening.”

There is probably little likelihood of a Labor win in next year’s election; that would require a stunning turn-around in a state still suffering from buyer’s remorse from the Labor years. 

The real danger though, is where protest votes from the sizable chunk of voters who find the LNP no better will go. 

Palmer United is the elephant in the room here.  Well funded, widely publicized, under scrutinized, and led by a populist with a pathological hatred of Newman, it’s potential to hold the balance of power and render the state government unworkable should not be underestimated.

It is difficult to understand why a government that is not travelling well in the polls and by-elections would rule out a ministerial reshuffle. 

Newman needs to reconsider this, given that the issues he wants to change are all the products of one minister, Attorney-General Jarrod Bleijie. 

Bleijie had two years since his law degree in a provincial law firm doing ‘commercial law’, (read conveyencing work) when he was elected to state parliament.  With the training wheels barely off his work practice, he was made Shadow Attorney General.  It is hardly surprising that this guy’s screw-ups have overshadowed anything that the government has actually done.

Newman really needs to tramp him.

Since when was driving a privilege???

Nothing any good ever came out of Victoria – Old Queensland adage

Victoria seems to be offering stiff competition for other nanny-state regimes with their latest stupidity.  Magistrates will now have the power to take away your drivers license for being drunk while walking home after a night at the pub.  It is not explained why being on foot has anything to do with driving but hey, with slogans like, ‘if one life can be saved,’ its said, it will all be worthwhile.

Effectively, this means that if you are out at the pub, get a bit pissed, and are a bit worried about how to get home a few blocks away; if you think you can still keep the car on a straight line, you might be better to take the risk on driving rather than leave it in the car park and walk.  You will be visible for longer on foot, and there is no difference in the penalty.

The government tells  the public that driving is a privilege, not a right and the editorial comes up with the same words: 

… The provisions broaden a judicial officer’s ability to suspend, cancel or disqualify an offender’s licence or learner permit for any matter, regardless of whether driving is an element of the offence. 

For anyone to lose a licence for public drunkenness would be an extreme use of the new power. Offenders can lose their licences for road rage and magistrates have wide powers to impose conditions on them.

“From today, offenders can lose their driver’s licence for road rage offences or for any other offence where the court considers doing so will better protect the community or send a clear message to the offender,” Mr Clark says. … 

…  “Where a court considers the best way to pull an offender into line is by taking away their licence, it will have the power to do so.” 

A senior North East traffic policeman welcomed The Road Safety and Sentencing Acts Amendment Act 2013.  Wangaratta highway patrol Sgt Michael Connors said anything that deterred offending was welcome.

“The possession of a licence is a privilege, not a right, so if these offences are going to be committed where they shouldn’t be driving on our roads, say hoon driving or evading police, then their licence should be suspended or removed,” Sgt Connors said. ...

A drivers licence cannot really be considered a privilege, given that the roads are publicly funded and citizens are entitled to freedom of movement whether sober, pissed, or even meeting with the disapproval of the public at large, provided they are not acting in an aggressive or coercive manner.

Were a road to be privately owned, and that owner restricted the right to drive on it to friends, gay partners, climate change skeptics, or whatever, then driving on it would indeed be a privilege.

A drivers licence is given subject to meeting certain requirements in driving ability, knowledge of the road laws, and an understanding that while traveling, the driver has the ability to do so safely.

It is not an absolute right; otherwise it would arrive in the mail at the predetermined age.  It is however, a right to all who can meet the basic qualifications for receiving it, and can conduct themselves in a manner consistent with safe road use.

Any legislation that takes away the right to drive on public roads for reasons unrelated to road safety is an anathema to liberty and has no place in a free society. 

Vic government in trouble over Howard gun laws

There is some sweet revenge for gun enthusiasts for the draconian Howard gun laws, with the possibility of the Victorian government falling over one of its members falling foul of them.  The Victorian government is barely hanging on by the skin of its teeth and cannot afford to lose a member.

Now one of its members has been charged with possession of a prohibited firearm and the possession of guns without a licence. 

The Coalition's hold on power in Victoria could be under threat after a National party MP was charged with firearms offences. 

Mildura MP Peter Crisp is due to face court in May over a number of charges including the possession of a prohibited firearm and the possession of guns without a licence. 

He was charged after reporting the theft of three guns from his farm in New South Wales.If convicted, Mr Crisp would be ineligible to sit in Parliament, which would force a by-election and could threaten the Coalition's ability to govern. … 

Mr Crisp says he has always held the appropriate NSW and Victorian licences and had taken all reasonable precautions to ensure the safe storage of his guns.

In fairness to MR. Crisp, he has not shot anyone, threatened anyone, robbed anyone other than taxpayers in his role as an MP, nor has he engaged in any other inappropriate activities with his guns.  The ‘crime’ if it can be called that, is simply owning them.

This highlights the stupidity of making a criminal offense of ownership of an object without a requirement of proving any intent to commit a crime.

The Howard gun laws were implemented as a knee-jerk reaction to the Port Arthur massacre in which a schizophrenic gunman killed 35 people and wounded another 23.  Despite the fact that out of the hundreds of people there, none other than the crazy guy was armed, the government took the view that fewer law abiding gun owners was a viable solution to criminals and the insane owning firearms.

Curiously, Howard is seen as one of our better PMs, which is probably an indication of the paucity of political talent in Australia.

There is little to cheer about however, as at this point it is unlikely that the only party with a rational view on gun ownership, the Liberal Democrats, will be able to take power there.

Money seized on reverse onus of proof

Proceeds of crime legislation has become popular with governments across the world since the idea was first mooted.  The idea was originally based on the principle of seizing assets that can be proven to have been acquired by criminal activity.

Since then, the scope has been expanded to meet an ever-growing appetite by government for more revenue.

Gradually it became the normal thing to seize all assets of a criminal even if the crime committed did not yield anything like the value of the accused’s assets, then was set to encompass any profits from media or book sales after release from prison.

In Australia, this is not enough for the government deeply in the red, which now demands that reverse onus of proof be applied, in order to dispense with the tedious requirement of proving that a crime has been committed in order to take what you have: 

NINE jetsetting Russians have been ordered to explain the source of almost $30 million stashed in Gold Coast bank accounts. 

The accounts have funded a global splurge on fur, jewellery, designer clothes and luxury holidays at the Great Barrier Reef, Thailand, Dubai and Italy. 

Australian Federal Police have frozen the fortune through the District Court in Brisbane as suspected proceeds of crime. 

Federal agents found the money was ``entirely incompatible’’ with the meagre income the Russians declared on their Australian visas. 

But friends told The Sunday Mail the Russians were behind major legitimate businesses in their homeland and were preparing to invest in Australia. … 

... The AFP told the District Court there was ``no evidence available to the AFP that the source of the funds is legitimate’’. 

``Nor is there any evidence to AFP that the intended purpose of the funds is legitimate,’’ the court was told.  

``The extremely large amount of money is entirely incompatible with the declared income of the nine Russians.” …

… A friend of the Russians told The Sunday Mail the group had a series of major businesses in Siberia, including a popular brand of ice cream. 

``I don’t know any Russian who declares their real income when they come to Australia,’’ the friend said.

Since the collapse of the Soviet Union, there has been a significant rise in the number of Russian millionaires, some legitimate, some not. 

There is no way of telling whether these people are legitimate or not, but it is apparent that the Federal Police have not been able to establish that any crime has been committed, let alone the nature of such an action. Had they done so, the action they have taken would be based on that crime, not on the rather nebulous claim that the origin of the money could be tainted.

Such actions have no basis in a rational justice system, nor should they exist in a free society.

Armed staff member stopped school shooter

Cartoon: By Glenn McCoy 

After the Sandy Hook School shooting tragedy, the NRA and others were roundly ridiculed for the suggestion that some of these events could be averted or minimized by arming teachers or other staff members.  Liberal policy makers love to cling to their ideas of gun-free zones making people safe despite mounting evidence that the opposite is the case.

The latest shooting at Arapahoe High School in Centennial, Colorado has vindicated the NRA and some of the saner commentators by virtue of the fact that the shooter killed himself when confronted by an armed staff member: 

… Robinson said that after Pierson entered the high school at approximately 12:33 p.m. Friday, near the student parking lot, he asked for the teacher by name. At one point, Pierson went into the library, where Murphy actually was located, but a janitor initiated a lockdown and Murphy was able to escape as Pierson entered the room. 

After that, Pierson set off one of the Molotov cocktails, setting at least three bookshelves on fire, investigators told KDVR.com. When an armed school resource officer entered the room, Pierson believed he was cornered and turned his gun on himself, Robinson said.  The entire attack lasted approximately 80 seconds and was captured by security cameras. …

It is difficult to ascertain what the result would have been had there not been an armed staff member present; the killer intended to shoot a teacher who had dropped him off the debating team, however he had fired randomly down a hallway wounding a female student.  It stands to reason though, that leaving the school to deny him his target saved the life of the teacher, and the armed resource officer potentially saved a number of lives.

But, can Newman make the trains run on time?

Cartoon: by Zanetti 

Queensland’s extreme anti biker laws have hit the spotlight again to day for all the wrong reasons.  There seems to have been an announcement a day for several weeks now, but after the legislation was rushed through parliament, there seems to be a screw-up per day.

The latest is an error in the draughting of the law, which has changed the context to mean that bikers who have quit ‘outlaw’ clubs are no longer outlaw bikies.  This seems reasonable under normal circumstances, but it appears that this was not the intent of the legislation and has left prosecutors in the embarrassing position of arguing in court that ‘it’ means ‘was’, somewhat reminiscent of Clintons parsing of what the meaning of the word is is: 

Justice Wilson criticised the wording of the laws, suggesting they were not clear on whether the reverse onus of proof for bail should apply to former bikies even if they had left a club long ago. 

"Maybe the problem is if the legislature wanted to capture people (who were past members), they haven't done it very well," she said. 

Mr Bleijie said it would be inappropriate to comment on the case but "if our laws need amending, we'll amend them". 

"The criminal motorcycle gangs will try anything to try to get around our tough new laws and we will adapt the legislation accordingly," he said.  "We put these laws in place to protect the community." 

Justice Wilson criticised the framing of the laws by Parliament, suggesting it was not clear whether the reverse onus of proof for bail should apply to bikies even if they had long ago left a club. … 

… She rejected the argument by prosecutor Todd Fuller QC that the new laws should apply, for example, even to an ex-bikie who had "cut all ties 15 years ago" from an outlaw motorcycle gang. 

Mr Fuller argued an ex-bikie should have to prove he had cut ties with a group that "supported and encouraged participation in serious crime" and was no risk to the community. 

But defence lawyers for the three former Hells Angels argued the laws spelled out an accused must be a present member of a criminal organisation for the new laws to apply.  Barrister Peter Callaghan, for the Da Silvas, said "By no amount of torturing can the word 'is' arrive at 'was'". …

The three people involved are already accused of involvement in an alleged multi-million dollar drug ring and if guilty will be sentenced to years behind bars. There seems to be little benefit, nor justice in adding 15-25 years to such a sentence just for being former members of a motorcycle club.  The law in civilized countries should be about what a criminal has done, not on who he associates with.

Prosecutors seem to be arguing that a guy who was a member of a now declared organization back in the early 60s, got married, sold his bike and settled down to raise a family, retired, got his superannuation, got nostalgic for his old Harley, bought one, went out on a ride, and broke one of the plethora of laws that we are subjected to nowadays, should do fifteen years in the slammer.

Mussolini would have been better than this.

US cop wants Queensland style anti motorcycle laws

Disgraceful slur on war veterans!

Image: Vlad the impaler, who has lent his name to the act.

The Newman government in Queensland has passed draconian new anti association laws to attempt to destroy ‘outlaw’ motorcycle clubs such as Hells Angels, Banditos, and a number of others including one that doesn’t exist.  The odd thing about the new law is that ‘bikies’ are not mentioned in it at all but the minister has proscribed a number of clubs.

The oddly named, Vicious Lawless Association Disestablishment (VLAD) Act has upset civil liberties groups and caused a revolt among the judiciary, who are concerned about undue political interference in their role.  Some of the worst aspects of the legislation are:

• Any member of any organization the Attorney General cares to name is automatically guilty of an offence;
• Any member of a declared organization who commits even a minor offense is to receive a mandatory 15 years extra on the penalty, 25 years if an office holder;
• A ‘bikie’ only prison where inmates will be locked in cells for 23 hours per day and are denied entertainment such as television, and gym equipment is banned;
• For some unexplained reason, the inmates are to be dressed in pink.  This possibly reflects on the AGs sense of inadequacy causing him to want to humiliate tougher men;
• Five years for refusing to answer questions;
• Reversal of onus of proof;

There are plenty more such as a requirement for law-abiding bikers to register their rides to avoid harassment.

This has not dissuaded a US ‘crime-fighter’ from lauding these laws and claiming the need for them in the States.  Worse, he suggests that the risk of war veterans joining outlaw groups as a reason for doing it: 

An American crime fighter has applauded the Queensland Government's hard line on bikies, saying the United States should have brought in similar laws years ago. 

Vice-president of the International Association of Undercover Officers, Steve Cook, says Australian authorities can expect bikie gangs to keep growing and are likely to recruit war veterans from Afghanistan.  "We've had people in the Middle East for the last decade; you're going to have a lot more recruitment of these individuals into these organisations," he said. 

Mr Cook has spent decades fighting gangs like the Hells Angels, Mongols and Bandidos in the US and says American lawmakers should have done more. … 

… Queensland president of the Returned Services League (RSL) Terry Meehan, whose daughter is a member of the Military Brotherhood MMC, says thousands of veterans join motorcycle clubs but it does not make them criminals. 

"They wear their badge on their back and they're quite proud of it, so I'd urge the public don't group classify people," he said.  "Ex-servicemen and ex-servicewomen are not criminals. …

A quick Google check reveals numerous motorcycle clubs for war veterans.  It is an absolute disgrace to make a claim that men and women who have served their countries honorably at the sharp end of conflicts for years, would be drawn to criminality on their return.

The problem Queenslanders have is that the AG graduated law in 2005, then in 2009 with the training wheels still in place on his practice of the profession in a provincial law firm, he was elected to parliament.  He then became Shadow AG and the rest is history.

Queensland pushes for anti biker laws, as if there are not enough laws already

"The civil libertarians will bleat and they will carry on, (but) Friday night was a turning point. – Premier Campbell Newman, demonstrating the condescension of the ‘born to rule’ crowd.

The Qld premier Campbell Newman has chucked a wobbly after some biker gang related violence on the Gold Coast and has joined the fashionable government set by advocating anti biker laws.  Just to demonstrate how ultra – fashionable and (from a governing perspective) really cool he is, he has dubbed it a “War on Bikies.” 

Mandatory penalties, bans on gatherings, locations, and vehicle confiscations form the foundation of the Queensland government's new anti-criminal gang legislation. 

Under the proposed anti-racketeering laws, gang members would be banned from gathering in groups, attending certain locations such as entertainment districts, wearing club colours inside licensed venues and restaurants, owning, operating or working in tattoo parlours or promoting or recruiting members. 

Members of outlaw motorcycle gangs will also face mandatory prison sentences if convicted of serious criminal offences and be banned from gathering in their own club houses under the new legislation. 

A conviction for serious assault of a police officer will carry a minimum one year prison sentence, with mandatory minimum sentencing for the possession and trafficking of firearms already in place.

There are already laws in place to cover pretty much all of the crimes that these people are alleged to have committed, so why not just go out there and arrest those who are guilty of wrong-doing?  It is that simple and without the risk of having the legislation overturned in the High Court as most similar legislation in other states has been.

But hey; to show you have a set of big ones, it is necessary to pick out a group of people, dictate what they can wear, where they can go, where they can work, what entertainment they may participate in, and make different laws which only apply to them, something like Germany in the 30s and 40s.

At least for the present he doesn’t seem concerned about their diets.

A mental health issue masquerading as a gun control issue

Cartoon: Nate Beeler 

(Title borrowed from a Facebook comment)

The tragic deaths of twelve people at the Washington Navy yard has in the eyes of gun grabbers and the liberal media, created a new platform for them to pursue their authoritarian agenda.

The usual politicians such as Diane Feinstein, President Obama and others are demanding action on gun control.  Obama has threatened to use Executive Orders to bring this about.  For those outside the US, executive authority is the US equivalent of the old British concept of the divine right of kings, which the Brits themselves, gradually abandoned in the years following the beheading of Charles the First.

Piers Morgan, the British journalist has weighed in with a diatribe on how bad the AR 15 is, despite the fact that the only one of these involved was the one that shot the killer.  Piers though, may have been confused over the CNN report that the shooter used an “AR 15 shotgun,” but Americans love to hear a cultured voice, especially British talking down to them.

One fact to bear in mind, is that these days the US military are not trusted with firearms other than out in the field, and US bases are essentially gun free zones apart from security personnel and MPs.  Bill Clinton, for whatever reason decided to disarm servicemen: 

Clinton's actions birthed Army regulations "forbidding military personnel from carrying their personal firearms and making it almost impossible for commanders to issue firearms to soldiers in the U.S. for personal protection." 

In other words, thanks to Clinton, citizens who join the military to use guns to defend liberty abroad cannot practice their constitutional right to keep and bear arms while on active duty at home.  

As the Times editorial board put it: "Because of Mr. Clinton, terrorists would face more return fire if they attacked a Texas Wal-Mart than the gunman faced at Fort Hood." 

The same theme ran true at the Navy Yard in DC on September 16. Police were called after the shooter opened fired, and reports indicate it took approximately three to seven minutes for them to arrive. Each minute is an eternity when a lunatic with a weapon decides the "gun free zone" rules do not apply to him.

So, like every other massacre in the States, it occurred in a gun free zone.  Once the killer had caught the guards by surprise and shot them, he had a clear run to a position where it was like shooting fish in a barrel.

The second major issue is that police warned the Navy that the gunman was mentally unstable some time ago: 

In the document, the officer said that on August 7, he was sent to a local hotel to check out a suspicious person report involving Alexis, who told him he was a naval contractor and travelled often. 

The report said Alexis told the officer that while flying from Virginia to Rhode Island, he got into an argument with someone else at the airport who he believed had sent three people to follow him and keep him awake by talking to him and sending vibrations into his body.

He also said he thought he heard these three people – two black males and a black female–talking to him through a wall of his hotel room and through the walls, floors and ceiling of a hotel on the Navy base. 

Alexis told the officer the trio was using “some sort of microwave machine” to keep him awake.

The authorities allowed this person a secret clearance and easy access to a base despite:

• A history of disciplinary problems in the service;
• Two arrests for firearms offences;
• And a report of serious mental health issues.

It seems that those calling for gun control are pushing the argument that average Americans can’t be trusted with guns on the basis that they tolerate idiots to organize their security.

Candidates, scammers, and the FBI

I am not sure whether Nigerian bankers are targeting political candidates or whether Bob Katter or Clive Palmer have found a novel way to raise funds, but since nominating for the senate in WA, I have had an influx of scam letters.

It probably makes sense for them to target political candidates; some of the missives from a number of them, as well as the public statements of the Libs, Nats, Labor, the Greens, and both parties named after their founders indicate that they are probably susceptible. 

Anyone who believes as Labor does, that strategic positioning of naval forces means moving their base into a river where the PM’s seat is threatened, would take anything on face value.

So far, two Nigerian bankers have contacted me, one offering me about $15 million if I help him move it out of unclaimed accounts.  The other is offering $9.7 mil but he could be genuine as he is a ‘Reverend’ who is the final signatory on interbank transfers.

There is also a legal firm in Lagos informing me that they are sorting out the estate of a person with the same surname as me who died along with his entire family in a plane crash.  He left no will and his $21.6 mil is mine for the taking if I lodge a claim.

I don’t know why so many people who share the same surname with me have such rotten luck.  So far five of them have died without leaving either a will, or contact details for their next of kin and oddly, they all seem to have sums of around $20 mil in the bank.

The best though, is the one I received under FBI letterhead from a ‘Special Agent Colleen M. Conyngham, (BADGE NUMBER JTT047101111)’.  Its so much better to be contacted by a special agent rather than an ordinary one, although I would have preferred that rather smooth looking chick from ‘Criminal Minds’.  Anyway, Colleen has a rather fascinating tale to tell:

We have been informed through our global intelligence monitoring network that the sum of $10.500, 000.00, has been released from a bank in Africa bearing your name as the beneficiary without dist certificate to clear your name and fund from every terrorist or drug or money laundering activities 

We sincerely apologize for sending you this sensitive information via e-mail instead of a certified mail, phone call or a  face-to-face conversation,We will also send you a certified email later it is due to the urgency and importance of the security information needed. To checkmate financial recklessness, illegal gambling, racketeering and considering the effect of the global financial crisis rocking the United States, our government with the help of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (F.B.I) Washington, DC and the internet crime complaint center (ic3),alongside the CIA  signed an agreement with U.K  police for an immediate release of all overdue funds presently logged in their treasury and to ensure it is disbursed to the rightful beneficiaries in all parts of the world. If you the beneficiary would adhere to our instruction it will help you receive your payment  immediately  

The bank knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to make this payment from any part of the world to your account directly, used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment (s.d.t.p) method to make the payment. direct transfers are difficult and secret diplomatic transit payment (s.d.t.p) are not  usually made unless the funds are  related to terrorist activities and we ask why must your payment be made in  a secret transfer if your transaction  is legitimate.  

We do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your personal account, so it is our duty as an international agency to correct these little problems before this fund reflects into your personal account.  

we advise you to contact us immediately, as your funds have been stopped and are being held in our custody, until you are able to provide us with the dist certificate within 3 days from the country that authorized the transfer to certify that the funds that you are about to receive are terrorist/drug free or we shall have cause to impound the payment and subsequently prosecute you for cross border terrorist financial activites. 

based on our findings, our investigative department wish to warn you against some miscreants, hoodlums and touts who go about scamming innocent people by claiming to be who they are not and thereby tarnishing the image of this wonderful country. By sending out fraudulent emails without our official logo and emblem we shall release your funds immediately we receive this legal document and we will ensure that you receive your payment without any further delay.

It must be from a genuine ‘public servant’ as it ends with a number of dire warnings and threats that will be carried out if the information is disclosed.  There are a number of spelling and grammatical errors, but you know what they say about the US public school system.

That adds up to a total of $56.3m, which is quite a tidy sum to the point where my retirement could be fully funded.  Hell, if it all comes through in time I just might sling $5 or 10 mil to the Liberal Democrats to help them win the election.