Cracker in bum guy not charged

Image: Alex Bowden (Here, hold me beer and watch this)

When a religious fundamentalist of any persuasion loses his faith in his chosen Deity, there is little left for him. The devil is not usually a terribly good alternative; purgatory doesn’t seem to have a lot to recommend it, at least not in the more up market travel guides, but there is the possibility of believing in some other religious figure.

When on the other hand, a big government groupie starts to get those nagging doubts as to whether the rest of us really need Julia Gillard, Nicola Roxon, or Tanya Plibersek to act in the role of dominatrixes in order that we might survive to meet our ‘obligations to the state’, there is always someone like Alex Bowden as a fall back position.

Alex is the guy who let off a firecracker in his back passage to show his mates what Territorians do for a good time. There must be a shortage of chicks up there. But at least, he won’t be charged:

Alex Bowden, 23, of Wagaman, burnt his bum cheeks with a winged spinning "flying bee" on July 28. He spent a few days recovering in Royal Darwin Hospital.

Acting Senior Sergeant Crispin Gargan yesterday confirmed Mr Bowden was not fined the usual $282. "We believe he has suffered enough in relation to firecrackers," Sen Sgt Gargan said. "He has learnt his lesson and was given a caution.” …

… They had a few beers and set off sporadic contraband crackers - presumably they had been left over from legal celebrations on July 1. "And I put one in my arse ... I didn't burn my balls or back," he said, adding his mum thought it was funny.

Mr Bowden burnt his fingers as he pulled the flaming shell from between his buttocks and a sober mate then drove him to the hospital. Authorities apparently confiscated the cracker.

The Northern Territory achieved its statehood later than the rest and has not had a lot of time to become the genuine nanny state Australians have come to know and disdain. In the more advanced states there is no way authorities would accept the idea of having ‘suffered enough’ without their involvement.

This is however, a gleaming example to the acolytes of the state of just why we need to be regulated in case we all decide that Mr Bowden was onto a really good idea and try to emulate him.