Department of Money Giving?

Image: Daily Cuteness.

Some time ago, I mentioned that people in foreign lands who share a surname with me have really rotten luck, in fact lethal luck. Some time ago I received what is the third notification of someone with my surname meeting with a fatal accident in a far off land, after depositing a large sum of money in a financial institution, while being intestate.

Having a great deal of concern for my unrelated namesakes, I thought to do a post advising them to:

(a) Change their name before travelling overseas:
(b) Don’t deposit tens of millions in foreign banks, thus tempting fate. And:

(c) Make a will, so your family can benefit.

This morning I had the incredible good fortune to be contacted by the Department of Money Giving, who wish to deposit $3,680 in my account. It seems to be one of the more secretive government departments, as I find they are unlisted on the government website. But hey, it’s probably something to do with Julia wanting to stimulate the economy.

At present though, I am still arranging things with the African princess who wants a relationship with me and to share the $23 million her father left her, and my multimillion dollar winnings from the London Lottery, which I don’t remember buying a ticket in.

Because of these matters, I haven’t the time to deal with piddling amounts. Rather than waste the opportunity, I have put them in touch with my Nigerian banker who looks after all my financial stuff. The only problem with him is he gets damn hard to get in touch with, especially since collecting those fifty crates of gold bars and jewels from that New York bank on my behalf and losing the consignment note.