Global warming induced alien invasion warning; NASA.
Pentagon orders 300 million Slim Whitman albums.
Cartoon: By Ramirez.
H/t: Australian Climate Madness.
In a statement believed to be related to the overuse of tinfoil hats NASA and Pen State scientists suggest that, in the future aliens, angry with the environmental damage humans have caused on Earth might wipe us out to save the planet:
It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim.The Australian Minister for climate change was not available for comment today, but a spokesman for the department made the following statement:
Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth's atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.
This highly speculative scenario is one of several described by scientists at Nasa and Pennsylvania State University that, while considered unlikely, they say could play out were humans and alien life to make contact at some point in the future.
The authors warn that extraterrestrials may be wary of civilisations that expand very rapidly, as these may be prone to destroy other life as they grow, just as humans have pushed species to extinction on Earth. In the most extreme scenario, aliens might choose to destroy humanity to protect other civilizations.
"Green" aliens might object to the environmental damage humans have caused on Earth and wipe us out to save the planet. "These scenarios give us reason to limit our growth and reduce our impact on global ecosystems. It would be particularly important for us to limit our emissions of greenhouse gases, since atmospheric composition can be observed from other planets," the authors write.
“We at the DCC take every alarmist warning very seriously, especially if it improves the chances of a carbon tax being passed.” He added, “These are eminent scientists who have done a peer reviewed study, the science is settled, so all them fascist, right wing, teabagging, knuckle dragging, climate deniers just have to accept it, treasonous bastards.”
The Prime Ministers office has declined to rule out the possibility of using images of Al Gore in a three cornered hat, riding toward Lexington shouting, “The aliens are coming,” in their next $12 million ad campaign.
Update: Nasa has backed away from this and claim that the scientist is only an associate.
Perhaps an explanation of that position would be appropriate. It should be explained how this got peer review and publication in the journal of the International Academy of Astronautics.
Owing to the ridicule this has gained, the odds of it making its way into the next IPCC report are probably only 50/50."Whats Up With That," has more details.
Saw this over at WUWT and had a good chuckle about it. I always do when the warble gloaming catastrophists are so keen to peddle more doom that they shut their balls in the drawer by coming out with something too ridiculous to take seriously. I'm just hoping that when the swelling goes down and their eyes uncross we can have an encore.
ReplyDeleteTalk about grasping at straws. My God, these people are shameless. Yet no matter how far-fetched their scenarios, no matter how many times their predictions have been wrong, no matter how many times they're caught "adjusting" data, no matter how flat-out batshit crazy they show themselves to be, the media and the government will continue to tout them as "experts".
ReplyDeleteExplain to me again how giving incompetent government entities huge wads of taxpayer money actually does anything to fix the so-called threat....
I have to admit I checked back to make sure it wasn't quoted from the Onion or the Peoples Cube. The people I feel really sorry for are the satirists who must have a prick of a time keeping ahead of the serious scientists in these matters.
ReplyDeleteUpdate at WUWT. The NASA bit turns out to be pretty tenuous. One co-author has a NASA affiliation, whatever the hell that means, but otherwise it was "a fun paper written by a few friends." However, as pointed out at WUWT, we still aren't being told how the hell it passed peer review and ended up in the journal of the fucking IAA. Unless maybe it's because peer review tends not to look critically at anything that bangs the warble gloaming drum?
ReplyDeleteThanks Angry, I've updated it, and pointed out that owing to the ridicule this has gained, the odds of it making its way into the next IPCC report are probably only 50/50.
ReplyDeleteNasa has backed away from this and claim that the scientist is only an associate.
ReplyDeleteThey'd have been better off backing away and claiming that the scientist is only an asshat.